U know what they say about "Periuk Nasi Besar"
Maka besarlah keraknya jua...Yes, it is the time of the year when everyone's who's earning an income, be it a self starter or makan gaji like myself gets annoyed and paranoid.The BE form declaration.It's that time of the year when you pay your fucking tax dudes. LHDN peak season. Yada-yada.This never bothered me. I have always earned from a small periuk. Not this year. They have started the deduction. It proves in my EA form.Oh fark. Paying the goverment. But then again...Yes, I filled my form up yesterday. Collecting all the receipts from my books and magazine purchases, my insurance and medical statements. Oh, the Malaysian goverment is kind enough to provide exemption for these.And after which, only to find that I have been over-paying my tax!! Hence, RM 44 cash back which I know I shouldnt even bother claiming it back because I heard of people getting back the return after 15 years. Yes, that is how slow and lembap the goverment is.But nevertheless, as long as I am able to walk freely, speak my mind, and not have war like some of the other countries, if it cost me RM 44 for my freedom, it is WORTH IT. Also, I slept well with a thought, I am an asset to the country, not otherwise. :)
Life is just a phase?
The Prid-Life Crisis.Short for Pre-Middle Life Crisis. I am pretty much sure everyone's heard of the mid-life crisis. Normally hits men, age ranging from 35 to 45. This is where they wake up one morning feeling like they are gonna die the tomorrow.Now, with or without realising it (well I have), it is coming to be common amongst the young working adult. People like me. People like you. I have admit to myself that I am one of them. Signs like "man, I do wanna get a Fairlady 350Z, like in 3 years time". And what's makes it worst I have a mind plan on how I will be able to come about it.Questions like these hit you, whether you realise it or not, we are at that age where people die early these days. If you live up to 55, consider yourself lucky with cancer and what not. Smoking is a the numero uno cause of it. I know, yet... my greed overcome my guilt everytime I run out. Listen to Muse, Time is Running Out and you will get a better picture.So here goes, a Blue List of things to do and conquer and explore before I become history:1 - Travel and cover at least 30 different countries.2 - To be able to wake up next to Him, every morning.3 - To experience childbirth, at least once.4 - To have my very own hard earned Nissan Fairlady 350Z, make that crystal white please.5 - I am surely dying to get an Engineur cop mohor of my own someday, with the official registration number on it.6 - To be able earn more than a 100 bucks per hour for my consult.7 - To have 1 landed and 1 high-rised property. Both, yes call me greedy but I am the one with the crisis now, kan?8 - To be able to pay cash for every single thing I dreamt of having, even if it cost a bomb.9 - To be a living legend10 - To make my parents proud, dad is it so hard for you to be happy these days?11 - Now, something that is almost impossible, if I were a Hero, I wanna be invisible and persuasive at the same time. Then again, the genesis studies is expanding, and I reckon, someday nothing will be imposible.There was once when I thought about things the way I do today, usually when I am going tru a transition phase of some sort, I reckon it is happening again. Hence, the delusion and confusion. Lets hope I dont bring my gun to work tomorrow... (then again, I want to be a living legend, not a dead one)
The notice period
Three months seems longer than I thought it will be.I am ultimately bored. Feels like a drag ever since.Two reports to submit. Flowline saturation and HMB preparation for the satellites.Those are my task. Before my time is officially up. But along the way, you never know what you will stumble upon. Lets paint a prettier picture with a lil hint of pink now. And pray that this 3 months will be up before I even notice it.
Starlight
Absolute high. No matter if it is repeated again and again and againfar awaythe ship is taking me far awayfar away from the memoriesof the people who care if i live or diestarlighti will be chasing the starlightuntil the end of my lifei don't know if it's worth it anymorehold you in my armsi just wanted to holdyou in my armsmy lifeyou electrify my lifelet's conspire to igniteall the souls that would die just to feel alivebut i'll never let you goif you promised not to fade awaynever fade awayour hopes and expectationsblack holes and revelationsour hopes and expectationsblack holes and revelationshold you in my armsi just wanted to holdyou in my arms
It's sickening to be where I am standing
For the past God knows how long, I have been wanting to post, but my computer have been having some trouble detecting this blissful Free WiFi service Starbucks has to offer.So yes, I have been keeping all bottled up in me a month alomost now.I finally carried all the gutts and courage to tell En Zam that I am leaving, But havent have the gutts to present the black and white.He is now aware of me betraying him after all that he has done for me. His reaction was somewhat unexpected that I almost cried, ran over and could have (if he wasnt a male, married some more) hugged him.He asked me why. And after all that 1001 reasons I presented to him, mainly was I was overworked. Too many hours at work and too little time with the family.In conclusion, the one that I will never be able to get off my mind was:"Of all my employees, there is only ONE person who I foresee that will be able to lead projects later. Any one engineer will naturally grow to be a senior engineer, but not all senior will be able to lead, there's only ONE person I see that will be able to do it, only ONE, and it's YOU, Nadia".That sentence there, means more that a million bucks to me. Like I said, it's never easy living up to En. Zam's expectations and this coming from him. He made wanna cry. It's like winning a lottery.And he has been nice to me ever since that day. Like yesterday. And today.On Friday nite, I wasnt able to sleep, thinking about what he said. I never thought I would have someone to look at me that way. And meant it. I know he meant it. He never praised anyone. Never.I am literally standing at a T-junction. I seriously am confused about everything and this makes things harder. Harder than even before. Before I was presented with choices. Sometimes, it's easier not to have any choice, that having to make up your mind.There is another one of his remarks that he said, that made me know, he cared about me."You can leave, just let me know where and leave for the right company"and used the words "sayanglar..." and in his eyes, I saw disappointment.Well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. My reply was "maybe someday, En Zam... someday..."
