It's sickening to be where I am standing
For the past God knows how long, I have been wanting to post, but my computer have been having some trouble detecting this blissful Free WiFi service Starbucks has to offer.So yes, I have been keeping all bottled up in me a month alomost now.
I finally carried all the gutts and courage to tell En Zam that I am leaving, But havent have the gutts to present the black and white.
He is now aware of me betraying him after all that he has done for me. His reaction was somewhat unexpected that I almost cried, ran over and could have (if he wasnt a male, married some more) hugged him.
He asked me why. And after all that 1001 reasons I presented to him, mainly was I was overworked. Too many hours at work and too little time with the family.
In conclusion, the one that I will never be able to get off my mind was:
"Of all my employees, there is only ONE person who I foresee that will be able to lead projects later. Any one engineer will naturally grow to be a senior engineer, but not all senior will be able to lead, there's only ONE person I see that will be able to do it, only ONE, and it's YOU, Nadia".
That sentence there, means more that a million bucks to me. Like I said, it's never easy living up to En. Zam's expectations and this coming from him. He made wanna cry. It's like winning a lottery.
And he has been nice to me ever since that day. Like yesterday. And today.
On Friday nite, I wasnt able to sleep, thinking about what he said. I never thought I would have someone to look at me that way. And meant it. I know he meant it. He never praised anyone. Never.
I am literally standing at a T-junction. I seriously am confused about everything and this makes things harder. Harder than even before. Before I was presented with choices. Sometimes, it's easier not to have any choice, that having to make up your mind.
There is another one of his remarks that he said, that made me know, he cared about me.
"You can leave, just let me know where and leave for the right company"
and used the words "sayanglar..." and in his eyes, I saw disappointment.
Well, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. My reply was "maybe someday, En Zam... someday..."
posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 1:29 PM
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