The Canai Issue
This has been bugging me for a bit here. Especially last Sunday. Topic says it all, the Canai issue.You know how I went yada-yada over my breakfast a few posties ago rite? Yea, breakfast is an essential part of my life. Okay, I made a big fuss over it, probably way bit over the top than usual. Okay, I admit it, I am pissed off. Why? Here goes...
Like it is the most important meal of the day says the expert, as it is in mine. Breakfast. So I take pride in my food, especially that time of the day. Okay, since it is a Sunday, and I wake up like at 11, so the time has differed from the usual 8 plus to 12.30 noon.
Pres and I will take our sweet Sunday drive down to the nearest mamak, and we'll do the usual order of kopi tarik (mine) and teh-o ais (pres) and when the minute I say roti canai satu. The mamak guy goes, "roti malam saja". Yesterday (sunday), I have had it. I was hungry and you know how cranky I get when I am hungry. And they wouldnt let me have my roti canai. I just stood up, like a biatch. And left the shop. My poor darling pres had to bear with me. But he understood. Thank God he appreciates his meal and very very particular about it as well. I used to call him Mr Posh Spice.
Anyways, not one but 2 shops refuse to feed me with roti canai. For God's sake, since when that they had a curfew on roti canai? My dad used to run a mamak outlet, and I never knew there was a time and a place for canais? Did my request for canai exceeded the decent-o-meter? Why? Lucky for me, I manage to get hold of one of these shops which served canai at 1.00pm.
And so I had my piece. And I was content and happy, my Sunday was fulfilled. I did not eat till it was dinner time. As I was doing the day before, I studied the Kenegaraan shet. Somehow, I found it pretty much interesting. And it made me wonder, while I was in secondary school, the subject History was such a torment. I hated it, even the person teaching it. I manage to discuss on this subject with pres over the canai, and we both decided and agreed at the end of the day...
The subject was not so much of a torment.
It was me, I was a tormented child.
I was not abused, nor was assaulted. But my parents made everything about studying so much of a duty. That I outgrew it. I was more exam orientated than I was interested in knowledge. I went to school because I was forced to. Because mom told me, "If you dont go to school and do well, you will end up working in the market". And I believed her. I know, mothers, and what they feed their childrens' minds.
Anyway, fact is, morning with a piece of canai and pres, reminising the past. My childhood. I am now so different. No more that stupid child who believed everything. Which explains, my thoughts on everyone is evil knevil, including myself.
However, I am over that child who was torment by the word education. I think working made me realised that studying was fun somehow. Only if you look at it that way. And pres has a point, arguing about it was even better. Especially when you have me, who never wants to ever, ever, ever lose. And pres, who's ever so knowledgable. What a genuis! I wished I could steal his brain for a day while I sit for the exam and then, give it back to him, once I am done.
Tonite, he'll be back from Kemaman. But I am not too sure if he will come to see me. It must be real tiring. That five hours drive and the morning meeting with Exxonmobil. I do wish to see him. I miss him. I thought about him a lot. That means, I miss him rite? I aint too sure. Maybe I am just afraid of needing someone so much. Or maybe I am just afraid of admitting it to myself? Or maybe just both? Probably.
Fact is, I wished he'd come and see me. But I wont tell him, because then it will be an obligation for him to come and see me. This aint about ego. This is about being considerate, for him. Okay, maybe this is about ego. I am still contemplating. But somehow, I know he'll come to see me, without me telling him. Because he loves me. I have realised something. This is the signs and symptoms of someone being a sick lil puppie. And someone who's in despair. Who cant think straight. Someone in love.
Maybe I am in love. I dont know, you tell me. After that mb incident, I made a vow not to love and here I am, standing where I am about to fall, but I refuse to fall, because I cant see the ground and I dont trust the fact that I will fall into a nice spongy bed of roses, as promised by pres.
Oh well, these are some of my stupid insecured mind and heart dancing while pres is gone for a business meeting! How silly of me. Pardon me, for this postie, but yea, if you folks have any comments with regards to this, with all respect, say it out. Or slap me out of my deluded self at least!
posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 4:14 AM
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