Intense, very intense
This happened on Monday.I woke up thinking it will be just another day. Yes, I have been feeling really at the pits lately. I am overworked and almost underpaid. But what can a junior engineer say? It's the learning phase. The overtime used to be enough, but now that it's 2007 and I have things, things that I have to do and overcome, it aint enough. After all, we are human, and enough is never good enough for anyone.
It aint about being compared to my other sibling who has the same profession as I do. But like I said, we are all human. She does not work on the weekends, she comes home rite after the official 5.30pm as long as she does her 8 hours. She gets 50% off the gym charges, she gets to sponsor my parents for medical or dental and even optical expenses. And the biggest tsunami to me, she earns more than me. Like a whole lot more.
That makes me feel puny. Like a tiny dot I dont want to be. Nobody has said it to my face, not my parents, no one. But the joy they get when my sister recently sponsored my mom's dental expenses, that was a hit to me.
Oh, and my boss, Mr Zam (names have been changed) knows about this, because he wanted to hire her once, but my sister and I both agreed that we shouldnt mess with each other's playground.
But out of the blue on Monday, he decided to ask me about her. And I guess I just had it when it happened, it's like rubbing salt on my already wounded ego. And I admitted that I am tired and I am thinking. Thinking like a ticking clock about to break and give in to this retaliating anatomy of mine.
But I was bought. He showed me a figure that was never imagined. He said I might get an increment of 60%, now who does that?
Somehow, that made me sweat really. Someone needs me. I am needed. I am appreciated. Not just a someone, but an organization to begin with. They need me. This I thought, is an achievement. He wrote me a figure so big, it was satisfying. Now, let's just wait for that letter so I can put it in my room and it will be my motivation to wake up and go to work.
Damn, it feels real good to be a process engineer, I guess I must be a good one huh, with that fat increment.
Deep inside, my lil heart wished, if only mom and dad will be proud of me.
posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 1:27 PM
<< Home