The Highest Order Of All Complications In Life

Better left unsaid

I could not help but burst out my outrageous laugh, I turned around and the lady looked at me, laughing as well. Boy, as usual, left confused with the "what wrong did I say?" look. The thing is, moms, she could have said, either, "I dont know" or "It doesnt exist" but moms would rather tell a lie and satisfy her childs curiosity. It's unexplainable, just mother nature. Like dads and football, almost unexplainable as well. Kids... kids are just, I dont know, blessings and they say the darnest things. Drives you nuts, but still at the end of the day, when you think about it, like my 4-year old cousin Aishah, she makes me smile... even now as I'm typing this blog.

Story 2

My attempt of wishing my mummy a "Happy Mom's Day" went down like a drain... thank God we already celebrated it last week. Mom was going out yesterday, in the morn for a wedding at Kuala Langat (where in the?) and I decided not to follow her. But as she was leaving...

Wabba-Fesh: Bye mom.. love you (walking closer towards mom). "Happy Mother's Day, mi.."

Mummy: Come here...

Wabba-Fesh: (Walking closer, thought it was gonna be a hug)

Mummy: Eh, you still smoking ahr?

Wabba-Fesh: Nolar.. where got? (senyum kambeng)

Mummy: Dont lie (smiling unwillingly). Your lips black u know..You promised me you stop. You know or not, you 'menderhaka' to your us (mom and dad)? And that's why your sister is following your footsteps. And no need to be the supplier to your sister. You promise me you'ds stop (like I forget, she has to remind me twice!).

Wabba-Fesh: Mom, nanti I stopla.. and I am not supplying to nathra la. And if she wanna follow my footsteps, she would finish her studies and be someone... nanti I stopla. Nanti lepas tunang nanti... ishkkk! I told En Razak pun, lepas tunang nanti...

Mom and dad left for the wedding...

Truth:

I hate it when I break her heart. Smoking is not haram. But menderhaka to mom and dad is a big sin. I will not be blessed with rezeki. No matter how cool I am, I believe in this sorta things, that I should respect my parents. En Razak is my manager and I call him 'pak'. He's like a father to me, who keeps asking me to quit. Dad and I arent talking anymore. Because of the same size of ego we both have, and the differences in opinion. Hence, I have to get another father figure outside of home. It's pretty sad really...

The truth is, parents always wants the BEST you their kids, but speaking tru experience, they dont really know what's best. And kids today arent dumb. We are opinionated. And very very stressed. I started smoking because smoke + nicotine + caffiene = salvation.

Back in the days when I was broken hearted, the equation applied. Today.. I'm not sure anymore, sometimes, I hate myself for smoking. But, man, the feeling of smoke into this lungs of mine... bliss. The fags, they are my best 'friends'. If I go out alone, I'd have 10 'friends', I'd go home with none.

My point is, somethings, are probably best left unsaid. Like situations of my mom and me, I bet she knew it long ago, that I am still smoking. She just didnt know how to approach me, because, it would be so awkward. I do that too, sometimes..

Best left unsaid, however, if it does haunt you... maybe you should come about with a way to approach the problem instead of running away from it. Maybe that is what I am trying to do these days... to face my fears.

You never know, what might come about. A box of 'forest gump' chocolates, perhaps?

posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 4:00 AM