The asylum I seek
It is yet another Beautiful Day.My first thought when I woke up, beating my alarm to it. Break of dawn always remind me of duties, like a robot being set it's mind to carry out the chores of the day. I guess when you are an employee, life is more routined like, and the feeling of getting comfortable with something so usual annoys the HELL out of me. I want CHALLENGEs to colour me life.
Here I am at work, getting used to my robot-like, routine job, day after day as I wake up to it. Like the brushing of my teeth I do everyday, tell me folks, how many of you look forward to brushing your teeth? But without it, I'd stink. And feel absolutely inconfident. And would stay away from everyone the whole, like I'm punishing myself. I was jobless for a whole 2 months, and man, how low I felt. How I secluded myself frm the world because I didnt feel like meeting anyone. Except for munchie. He is exceptional. If there is one thing that comes as an exception, in my principles, or believes, it would be him. He has a way with me. He break my principles, he breaks rules.
Again, here I was at work, feeling bored, as usual... and I checked on people on friendster, or read other ppl's blog, just to see who thinks like me, an absolute rebel like me, or reacts to circumstances just the way I do. Believe in double-standard, hoping to be saved by someone who would see beyond just skin-deep, who would actually take the effort to love me regardless of the baggages I carry from my past. Someone who seeks asylum in the heart of love itself. Someone who punishes the races of the male species for some unfortunate events that might have happened from the past by a specific male. Someone who judges the world by experiences encountered, and mostly memories of undesired events. All that you cant leave behind.
I found a girl out there, who is the girl I used to be once. Before I met baby, who loves me unconditionally, aware that he might not have my heart in return. Ever. But loves me anyway. Well, Maya.. whoever you are. I do wish I could meet you, tell you that you will come to this moment I am facing in this point of life. It will take you by suprise, and you will be amazed, fascinated and confused all together.
I believe, all that happened to me once was a test, so that when I come to today, I will never get too carried away. Oh, and I had many thoughts from guys, all of them said I was brutal, hard and what not. Mamat didnt think I'd ever get married. And here I am. Pure of heart. I just wanted to be saved. As I claimed, freedom lies in his arms, along with his presence. I am now safe in the care of my wonderboy.
He looks at the baggage I carry as the reason of my existance and presence today. The events that moulded me into the person I am. Which is what he is attracted to. I would say Maya, find someone who interests you, fascinates you, colours the black and red life of yours with hints of pretty pinks and baby blues. I am a person of color too.
Believe that your existance is a reason. Believe that you are bliss rather than a curse. Believe that your desire will soon be fulfilled. And lastly... expect the unexpected.
P/S: Maya, I have a strong feeling you are a scorpio. I might be wrong though..
posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 3:30 AM
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