The Monthly Affair
I havent been in my best moods lately.It's that time of the month again and besides, I feel not too much of myself. I was a bit ill I guess.
What excites me, though I feel kinda mellow, where my zest for fun is not there... is the fact that today is a FRIDAY! No matter what comes, it is a Friday and we all can enjoy our jolly good weekend after 6 at least (for some of us) ait? Wow!
Hrm... also, tomorrow I will have a 'big' day, again, I will go back to 3 years back....
My days in Birmingham... as tomorrow there will be a Birm gathering and I can show my new self. The futurama Nadia (and it even rhymes!)...
Let's see, back in Birm, I was a girl of not many fans. I was a fat girl to begin with and had loadsa zits... the pimple face teenager. And I had the attitude remember. Everyone sorta hated me and in my mind, the whole world was against me. I was indeed the highest degree of all complications in life. I want to be loved but I wanted to be loved by someone who earned it.
And only my friends understood that. The girls...
The guys called me names. "Awek ganas" was the popular one. Some thought I was messy, lazy and scary. Yea, most of all scary.
The truth is, it hurts god damnit! I may seem like I didnt care out of my ego which is as bid as the Earth itself, but it hurts and I'd cry...
So, tomorrow at 3, or just about, I am gonna show up and meet some of these ppl who thought so of me. Trust me, I met some of them in a brief (like at a wedding where we cant really talk) and they came up with comments like... "wah, nadia dah slim... wah, nadia dah lawa, wah nadia, dah ader boifren... yada yada..."
Eh, nadia dah nak bertunang tau!
I always wondered and would actually ask my best mate and house mate, Sherrie... the common question of "why they treat me that way?" Why why whys? "why the guys hated me, without knowing me?" And she would tell me, it's because they cant accept the fact that I am a "say it in your face" girl. And that I am intimidating, and speak english.
Speak english? How lame is that. Here we are, all studying in the UK and it is wrong to speak english? It's kononnyer that we are malay, so we should speak malay. Well, I am half indian! So, eat that! I speak english at home, it is my mother tounge. The truth is, I couldnt even speak malay until I went to standard 1. It did pissed nenek off though, she'd complain to my mom about it then when I was younger.
I decided many years later, that it was true what sherrie said. They are shallow, the malay guys in the UK. And I in fact Pres is just a guy by the street, a really smart guy on the street. And he saw me beyond the depths of my skin. And here I am, loved by him who earned it.
I am going back to them tomorrow to show the girl they did not see, then. And yea, hope I wont spoil it though. Because I am pretty defensive.
Funny, but I am kinda looking forward to tomorrow..
posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 7:01 AM
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