The Highest Order Of All Complications In Life

The 7 years ago, yesterday

• My first bf, first date, first kiss, first break up
• Culture shock
• Gained 20kgs in a year and a half, I was running for the heavy weight champions (I was 80 to be exact)
• A bunch of cool, smart, really smart friends, true ones as well (who was a watcher like me)
• Low self confidence (I was poor, ugly and a nobody)
• Understood that there are people in this world with so much money, it becomes no value to them
• And the world revolve around the rich, famous and beautiful people (even the teachers gave in to those with money and they get away with almost anything)
• Money makes you forget your roots
• Rich kids are annoyingly stupid, fucking posers who thought the knew the world
• The best ustazah in the whole wide world
• I was the best watcher
• KTJ was good entertainment, it's like watching a reality show with stupid, rich kids in it
• Teachers you wanna shove 'it' in their faces with

And that was exactly what I did. Back in those days, you have to keep up with everything. To be the popular one and to be stepped on if you were a nobody. I handled it offensively. I became scary. Everyone stayed away from me, even the bitchy *Esrina* girl. Swear. I thought that was pretty cool, so did my friends, because they had a out-spoken, in-your-face protector.

However, KTJ did messed with my confidence level, as it was intimidating enough to speak to the teachers who had flawless english and they seemed so smart at that time. And some of them were Brits. The kids were categorized, in the sense that they come in clans. Even I did. Well, it's either, you were in the popular clan (where all the guys go for you, got a ton of roses on special occasions), you were a sports person, or you were smart, or a geek or both like *Coon Dee*, who stole a lot of attention by being the Headboy, getting himself into Cambridge and what not. Or there was this other geek who played music and came up with the schools anthem. Or you were so rich, your parents treathened the school to pull out all four of their girls off the school if the school didnt allow their kids running around with blonde hair, and got away with it. All four of them. Or you offered yourself to guys and have a fuck list for exeat like *Helga Tea*.

And so, here I was, with Aboo and Dr. Vitz along with many others, who became the watcher. We watched and laughed about it, our topics mostly covered, who did what, got asked by whom, got dumped by whom, or got caught doing what... it was a perfect model for the exact American school you see on tv. And I was pretty ashamed about it, now that I come to think about it.

And so, what have changed? Sad to say, nothing much. The kids were still fucking posers, like lil tugs running around making themselves define the word 'FOOL'. Hrm... the teachers werent so smart anymore, and I spoke to them proudly. In fact, I impressed one of the teachers (whom I never spoke to then) so well, I got invited to give a speech to these stupid kids for Career's Day, I am still deciding whether or not to do it (it'll be like talking to a bunch of walking, errupting hormones, complaining, stupid and annoying lot). Back to impressing the adults. That isnt a problem for me anywhere I go, a lot of them adults get intimidated by me and they actually get back on me. It was easy, just answer their typical "what are you doing now?" and "where did you study at?" Questions.

If it was like that those days, I would have been their As student. But unfornately I grew so intimidated, I hated being there, I felt unwelcomed, it messed with my confidence and ego, and I got a B D E for my A levels. I am not shy saying it, because I know where I went wrong. KTJ was where. By the way, I am a chemical engineer today, planning to do my Msc in UMIST, the only thing that is keeping me from it is the KECHING! M.O.N.E.Y. And I aint a geek, I have a life and about to make it big, insyallah. And I am proud of myself.

Looking back to 7 years ago, I never thought I will be here someday and I actually made it. Pretty impressive really. I was with my bro (pet bro cum buddie), Haidar who was an average then, who is today, a CAMBRIDGE graduate with Msc in Manufacturing Engineering, who is about to run his very own shared Research Institute and he is only what? 23, same age as me. And I am proud of him as well. And nobody knew him then, or was close to him or gave him the recognition he was suppose to get.

The kids who manage to get 3As as in straight As, the schools cream, did not even manage to complete the course they chose. I know 3 of them who changed courses and still studying as I am about to reach my 2nd year of my working life. Imagine that.

This is coming from a girl who walks into the school and upon being introduced to the juniors as Nadia, they immediately know my name and go "Oh, so you were the girl who got a D for chemistry in mr. lei's class because you didnt do his 24hrs reviewing tip" What the fuck? I am a chemical engineer today. And guess what? I realised something, that you can make even if you are lazy, you just have to be smart, know when to act upon opportunities and know a ton of people. Did you know that Boon Siew of Honda did not know to read and write till the day he died? Eat that! He brought Honda into Malaysia losers. It is also about luck.

You know, I might just go for the Careers Day because this kids needs to know that you dont have to be a geek to be successful, and popularity dont last forever, especially if you are heading for the UK for tertiary education. And dont let the teacher's tell you what you are worth because they wont be so big and smart 7 years from now. You will figure out that, "no wonder they are stuck teaching in KTJ and not making it big out there".

7 years and I still walk into KTJ having that uneasy feeling and still hate being there because of the faking, worthless individuals. Yes I do.

**Names were changed for well, privacy sake? Nah, I just didnt wanna take chances, dont wanna get sued, but yea, if you were a KTJian, you'd know who I was talking about. Simple as that.**

I would like to say thank you to a special bunch of people for making me go through KTJ and coming out still in one piece, safe and level headed:

This goes out to Nurul Aboo, Vita, Yao-Jin, Eliza, Nuwee, Farhana, Hasheeni, Ustazah (who's happily married with 2 kids), Sai, Chuo Ming, Haidar (towards the end), and Sups.

posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 4:22 PM