All Fair In Love & War
That is my fav quote. It is true in a way... when we commit to love, there is a point when we meet Mr/Ms X. And then suddenly this Mr X (in my case of course), and he suddenly become a significant being in life, unplanned or planned (depending on individuals), and in my case, after being hurt times and times again, I finally learnt... that LOVE IS A CURSE. So one nite I prayed to God, so that I can feel no more, but only to be loved by someone tremendously. Then that nite, my dream came true... that is why they say... "Becareful Of What U Wish For". In my case, it applies so well...When I met my Mr X, he was fantastic, we just connected so well, the person who came up with the Nokia advert will feel challenged. Anyway, here goes... when I met him, I couldnt feel no more. Guys were all pricks to me, and I fought my feelings, though he was just there... giving and giving and never stop giving in though I was being the biggest *toot* in the whole world to him. I fought my feelings so strong, and somehow, I just gave in, YES.. I do love this guy and he deserves it.
SOmehow, that tragedy that hit me before, hurt me till what was left of my broken heart was just ashes and dust. However, beautiful he was, he managed to instill the word 'love' again, paint the preety pinks in my once black and red life. And though all that, the past is still haunting me down, like a hunter with a bazooka...
Now he is someone so significant to my life, but I didnt feel as much as I could have felt, all coz of that nite, that very nite when I cried to myself and prayed for my 'talent' to love so deeply, unconditionally to be banished in the depths of my soul where I would not go again. And because of that I am always and still stuck in my past.
What confuses me is that, though we have what we want in life, there is something just pulling us back from it. I had a friend who was feeling just as what I felt and she told me: "It is weird Nadz, how you can have love, but you wouldnt let go of your past, and here I am still waiting for my man, only I am scared to move". It made me think for awhile... why do we do this to ourselves?
This is dedicated to my Man to be and he knows who he is... you have loved me despite of my condition, you have given me you heart and soul, knowing you might not have it in return, but here you are, still standing by me. How you have held me times and times again as I begun to fall like the leaves of Autumn, and because of that shall I stand by you at all times. I would never betray your love, the biggest gift you have given to me... your faithful heart. And you shall have it in return with time... stay by me, and we pray together that I will have back my heart and the talent of me to love you again... Thanx for waiting by me knowing you might be at the losing end of this love that we fight for.
Notice the beautiful soft pink I have chosen for the colour of the fonts, that is how sweet your love is to me and you will always be... my loved one, for all time. We'll be hand-in-hand.. fighting for this love we have initiated on the 2nd of December 2003, when we met at our crossroads. You who will own the reign but we'll hold it together, as we sit side by side on our ride to discovering this life together.
And I do love you sayang...
posted by WaBBa Fe$H @ 9:10 AM
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